In class this Saturday we spent some time drawing plants again. After we had four or five drawings I suggested that we rip one up. It’s easy to fuss over our work and to attach to what we’ve done, we all do it, so everyone hesitated. It was optional but soon we were all ripping and tossing tiny fragments of drawings in the air like confetti. It was very liberating.

I once spent a few years writing a novel. It was not the only thing I was working on but I put plenty of time and energy into it. I really wanted to get it right, whatever right was and I believed if I kept working at it I would get it right. But it wasn’t right and in the end I had to let it go.

Why wasn’t it right? Was I not talented enough? I believe we all have everything we need to do what we feel called to do, just as I believe that anyone who shows up at class with the intention of drawing and making art and exploring their own creativity has everything they need to succeed. My novel was challenged because I was still in the learning process. But, instead of letting it go when it became clear it was not hanging together in an easeful way, I held on tight. I didn’t yet know that there was an infinite supply of other things to write and that it’s far more effcetive to just start something new.

I held on because I had thoughts like—I don’t want this time to be wasted, if this isn’t working then maybe I’m not good enough (horror + renewed effort), and then, I’m good enough so I will make this work. But we can’t force art and most of the time it works because we get out of our way. We get out of the place of thinking and into the place of receiving and flowing. The time is never wasted because every minute we spend on our art hones our skill and our ability to see what we’re doing. That’s when the mind comes back in to reflect and sharpen.

One of the students said she’s afraid when she does something good that it will be the best she ever does. But once we get to a certain level, we never go back. We all have an infinite supply of creativity that flows through us. It’s not ours, we are just opening up to it. And we’re always practicing opening up and letting go of the mind and its judgments as we also practice honing our skills.

So, as in life, letting go is what enables us to move forward. It’s very empowering to rip a few things up from time to time.

On another note, I turned a charcoal drawing over and laid it on my pad to demonstrate what I wanted the class to draw next. I discovered after drawing on the back side of my paper that the old drawing had made the most beautiful ghostly image on the fresh sheet of paper underneath, so I drew on that, then did a series of drawings using that technique. A happy accident. So it’s good not to rip everything up!